Two Films Chronicle Gay Relationships: One, 'THE GAY MARRIAGE THING,' will be screened in Boston just in time for the 2nd Anniversary of Legal Same-sex Marriage
William Henderson May 17, 2006
Read the article on the In Newsweekly web site

At the time that Boston-native-turned-Montreal-ex pat Vincent-louis Apruzzese first filmed Paul McMahon and Ralph Hodgdon, they had been together 46 years. The documentary, called, simply, "46 Years," chronicled the life they had built together. When the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court voted in favor of marriage equality, he updated the film to document the couple's wedding.

Similarly, the out Stephanie Higgins, a Massachusetts-based filmmaker, saw the SJC ruling as her chance to document what was all of a sudden a new reality - the ability for gay men and lesbians to marry.

"[I hadn't] thought marriage was an option until the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court gave it a voice," said Higgins. "In putting the documentary together, I wanted to show what a real marriage was, even though the couple is gay, and until recently, weren't recognized as a married couple."

Her documentary, "The Gay Marriage Thing," follows one lesbian couple during the debates and protests surrounding marriage equality as they plan and hold a wedding ceremony. It's nothing short of remarkable that her documentary is screening as part of the Boston Gay and Lesbian Film/Video Festival the same week as Massachusetts celebrates the second anniversary of marriage equality.

"Everything about this project just seemed to come together perfectly, like it was being guided. I knew I wanted to tell a story that would not only speak to people on both sides of the issue, but that would allow those people who do not have experience with gay people to get to know a loving gay couple," Higgins said. "After sitting in the State House at the first Constitutional Convention and hearing, seeing and feeling the emotions around this issue on both sides, I knew I had to come back and tell this story."

Apruzzese separately agreed. Although legalized gay marriage was nothing more than an idea when he started filming McMahon and Hodgdon, its eventual legalization only cemented what he had hoped his movie showed - "that gay couples [are like] all other couples."

"I feel that history is told through the lesser known people and places and decided to interview them and see what I could do with the idea," said Apruzzese. "Them actually being able to marry was the icing on the cake. I felt what they had to say about the hard road it took to get married was even more important than the fact they, after 40 years, were finally able to do it."

Documentaries about the struggle for marriage equality and the ceremonies shared by couples who braved and waited out the storm, said Higgins, "is the wedding video of most gay couples - their loving long-term relationship at the center of swirling opinion, politics, and religious ideas." And where else but behind a camera should a filmmaker be, especially one personally impacted by the ongoing story.

"More than documenting the marriages of gay men and lesbians, I think it's important to tell their stories," she added. "To tell the stories of American couples living very ordinary lives, but now being allowed to participate in one of the most ordinary facets of life, marriage."

Since completing and submitting her documentary to film festivals around the country, Higgins has watched it take on a life of its own. Colleges, churches and high school gay-straight alliances are asking to screen it, and it is already available for educational and private use. The reception has been tremendous, she said, and as it continues to spin its story, she hopes that it can find an audience across the sexual orientation divide.

"It is a film that both straight and gay audiences can and do watch together, and it is meant to be a film that gay people can bring home to their families," Higgins said. "If it starts one conversation in a family that brings people closer, then I feel it's done its job."

These conversations start from a place of courage, said Higgins, a courage with roots that first took hold during Stonewall, that have remained firm and strong over the years, and finally birthing life with the ability for gay men and lesbians to marry in Massachusetts.

"I think it takes the courage of gay men and lesbians to share their lives with the people around them, especially when it is most difficult, opening our hearts to people with whom we don't see eye to eye," she said. "I do think it takes using film in order to reach people with these stories, but I think we have to be thoughtful about how we tell our stories."

Of course, with the future of marriage equality far from certain, these documentaries may serve as a reminder of a time when such unions were legal, but Apruzzese has high hopes that, as it is in Canada, gay marriage, and films about it, will become "pretty common."

"Making a film about gay marriage here [in Canada] is quickly becoming like making a film about straight marriage - pretty dull - unless there's something else about it to get your attention," said Apruzzese. "I guess that would be my dream for future films - that gay people getting married would be [an accepted part of the story], but not the story itself."